Montee Ball: The biggest fraud in college football

It's Heisman time again.  The glorious time where people pick on reputation and emotion rather than performance.  This year, one of the finalists is Montee Ball, a running back who is basking in the sunlight the NCAA, media, and Big Ten supporters are giving him as he "approaches" a long-standing NCAA record.  Outside of some Wisconsin and Big Ten scoring records, any record Ball sets will be fraudulent and a slap in the face to the athlete who is widely considered to have had the greatest individual season in college football history.

Everybody is comparing Ball to Barry Sanders and his 1988 season in which he set the record for most touchdowns in a season.  If people simply looked at the facts, they would see that Ball has already missed Sanders' scoring mark and can only break Sanders' record by a fraudulent manipulation of the record books by the NCAA.  In the 1988 regular season, Sanders had 2,628 yards rushing in 11 games.  He had 39 total touchdowns (37 rushing) in 11 games.  He averaged 7.6 yards per carry in 11 games.

Take a look at Ball's regular season stats.  Including the Big Ten Championship game, Ball has played in 13 games.  In those 13 games, he has 1,759 yards rushing (869 yards fewer than Sanders, even after playing two additional games), 38 total touchdowns (32 rushing, five fewer rushing and one fewer total than Sanders, even after playing two additional games), and 6.4 yards per carry (1.2 yards fewer than Sanders).  The WORST rushing total Sanders had in a single game in 1988 was 154 yards.  That is BETTER than nine of Ball's games this season.  Ball will have to run for over 1,300 yards and score seven touchdowns to top Sanders' stats in 1988 projected over a 14-game season instead of 12 games.

In 1988, for some unknown reason, the NCAA did not count stats from bowl games towards official records.  Even since counting non-regular season games as part of their records, the NCAA won't allow past bowl games to be added to records and totals.  Because of that, Sanders' 222 yards and five touchdowns do not count.

The NCAA and the mouth-breathers who think Ball is the greatest thing since sliced bread just pretend that Holiday Bowl never happened.  To them, anybody who believed the game actually happened is a conspiracy theorist who is still looking for Kennedy's second shooter.  The Holiday Bowl, Wikipedia, ESPN (ESPN again, and again, and again, and again), and the New York Times all believe there was a Holiday Bowl in 1988.  Oh yeah, Sanders didn't even play in the fourth quarter of that game.  I can't imagine what his stats would have been if he played the entire game.  But the game never happened, so who cares if he supposedly only played in three quarters?

Obviously, the NCAA and the mouth-breathers are correct in their assertion that this game didn't take place, primarily because they say so.  Heck, even ESPN is recanting their own video evidence that the 1988 Holiday Bowl took place and is now saying Ball is better than Sanders.  The ESPN writer actually attempts to make a case that Ball's season is better than Sanders in 1988.  Unreal.  At least Sporting News clarifies the exclusion of 1988 Holiday Bowl, which never happened.


(Side note, somebody needs to edit Brian Bennett's articles.  Sanders' big season took place in 1988, not 1998 and in the Holiday Bowl, he scored five touchdowns, not four.  It's the giant in the sports media industry and nobody can do a simple copy edit.  Of course, the 1988 Holiday Bowl never happened, so getting the number of touchdowns supposedly scored in that mythical game wrong is not a big deal.)


Nobody can deny the fact that Montee Ball is having a great season.  He is the best running back in the nation this season, but he is not having the greatest season of all time.  Ignore the hype: Barry Sanders in 1988 blows Montee Ball in 2011 out of the water and it isn't even close.

Taylor Swift will surely cure cancer

At least we know where she
gets her eyes...

Last night, 60 Minutes did a puff feature on Taylor Swift.  This was done in conjunction with the American Music Awards, a show that is the inbred step-cousin of the GrammyAwards.  Of course, that does not reflect my opinion of the Grammy Awards since I don’t consider the Grammy an award atall.

It is commonplace for 60 Minutes to do puff pieces.  It is an excellent show that has been on for decades and has brought an innumerable amount of injustices and interesting unknown stories to the American mainstream.  They are certainly allowed to have puff pieces and they do limit the amount of puff pieces they show.  But sometimes when a high-powered PR firm tells CBS they want a feature so an average singer with average looks can add a few more zeroes to her bank account and give CBS a check with a bunch of zeroes in the right places, the network has no choice except to agree.  For all my friends who follow sports, look no further than the LeBron James puff piece.

Gaaaah!

Taylor Swift is a smart and shrewd businesswoman.  That is her most redeeming and probably sexiest quality.  She made her big break in a very random way, which is no different than any other big time singer not related to another big time singer.  What worked great for her was the shallow talent pool in pop music and the fact that she started in country music.

Look at her competition amongst American female singers: Lady Gaga (decent voice, but a polarizing freak show), Ke$ha (talentless hack, worst female singer to make it big since the chick from Aqua), Fergie (brutal), Rihanna (decent at best, has gotten where she is by riding coattails), and Katy Perry (yawn).  Not exactly the stiffest competition.

Starting in country music was key to Taylor’s success.  Country music fans will enjoy anything.  They made LeAnn Rimes the most popular artist in music at the age of 14 for a song called “Blue” that gives puppies seizures (not to be confused by the other seizure-causing song called "Blue" by the immortal Eiffel 65).  Country fans also obsess over that band Lady Antebellum, a group that butchered the Star Spangled Banner during the NFL’s opening weekend this year.  (Side note, Lady Antebellum is a stupid band name.  There are guys in the group and nobody in the group is called Antebellum.  It makes no sense at all.  Also, how far down the list was Lady Antebellum on the NFL's list for the 9/11 game in NJ?  50th? 87th?  349th?)  Let’s not forget other country “superstars” that have been obsessed over by country fans and transitioned to mainstream in the 1990s and 2000s, like Billy Ray Cyrus, the Dixie Chicks, Lee Ann Womack, and Toby Keith.  Not exactly big on quality, eh?

Once it was realized that Taylor Swift made her break at the right time based on the shallow talent pool and the blind support from country music fans, it was time for her and her handlers to take advantage of her greatest assets: her age, hair color, and race.  America just loves the white, blonde teenagers.  Teenage girls idolize them, fathers want to sleep with them, and mothers love them out of because they represent everything they wanted to be when they were teenagers.  Plus, that combination of age, hair color, and race triggers a sense among Americans that they’re pulling for “the girl next door,” somebody who is squeaky clean and worthy of our attention.  The same thing happens in baseball, basketball, and football.  It’s amazing how differently people describe a white short stop compared to a Hispanic one in baseball, or a white receiver compared to a black one in football or, the most obvious, a white guard in basketball.  The same holds true in pop music, especially with female pop artists.  America loves the white, blonde teenager.

What about those of us who prefer brunette females who look like they eat more than a celery stick for dinner and prefer not to puke up said celery stick for dessert?  Kelly Clarkson is called fat.  Katy Perry was called ugly until she finally went blonde this summer.  Shakira wasn't signed to a major label until she dyed her hair bleach blonde.  It’s a ridiculous image that discourages people from being unique and striving to succeed just by being who they are.

So go on, keep on believing every word that Taylor Swift’s publicity team tells her to say during a puff piece.  Please continue to line her pockets with cash, she really does appreciate that.  But it’s all ok because, as her publicists told 60 Minutes, she plays a song at her concerts for the people in the nosebleeds…after raising prices beyond any sort of rate of inflation or cost of living adjustment.

Again, she’s smart and shrewd.  In that sense, more power to her.  Keep on screwing over the masses who don’t know they’re being screwed over.  She needs to do it for as long as possible because she is now 21 (almost 22), two years removed from being a teenager.  In the pop music world being just white and blonde doesn’t take you nearly as far as being a white, blonde teenager.  Maximize your profit from the mindless lemmings before you do the unthinkable and turn 23, at which point you’ll be called old and out-dated.

Hey Dude: Early morning stupidity on TV

This morning, I was having trouble getting to sleep since I inexplicably slept about 8 hours yesterday morning and afternoon combined.  That translated into a long phone call that started around 12:50 a.m. and being wide awake after that.  So what's the logical thing to do when you're wide awake very early on a Sunday morning?  It's to find the worst TV programming possible!  That's where the channel Teen Nick comes into play.

Teen Nick is not a channel dedicated to this guy.  It is a channel that shows teen-related programming and apparently Nickelodeon programming from the 1980s and 90s.  At 3 a.m., the show that came on was the legendary "Hey Dude."  This show was a staple for my sister and I back in the day.  Back then, I thought the show was sort of dumb.  After watching it this morning, I felt like anybody who watches this show will become dumber for watching it.  Honestly, finding South Africa, the Iraq, and the Asian countries on a map makes more sense than episodes of "Hey Dude."

For those who don't know about "Hey Dude" or never watched it, it is a show about teenagers who work at Bar None Ranch, a dude ranch run by a nerdy Dirty Harry named Benjamin Ernst.  Working for him are Lucy (asexual, middle-aged woman), Ted McGriff (who went to big things in the GHB industry), Melody Hanson (yes, that's Mrs. Ben Stiller, who may or may not have aborted a child she and Ted conceived in Season 5), Bradley Taylor (female named Bradley, who had gender confusion issues after being born a hermaphrodite), Danny Lightfoot (fits every racist stereotype of American Indians, mocked by Ted continuously for being an Indian), and Buddy (Mr. Ernst's son who really brought nothing to the show, ever).  There were other characters that were semi-regular, but that core essentially did different things to get into mischief and had all sorts of wacky ways to get out of mischief.

Mischief and wacky solutions was the key to Nickelodeon shows back in the day.  The shows were entertaining enough.  The only one I can think of that was more mindless than "Hey Dude" was "Fifteen" (pay close attention to Billy in the intro to "Fifteen").  Teen Nick is a good trip down memory lane.  I'll have to check out their schedule to see if they will be showing other classic shows at times more reasonable than 3 a.m.

Seton Hall 2011-2012 Season Preview

It's early November and I'm getting angry at a party while tracking college basketball scores.  It must mean only one thing: Seton Hall basketball is back!  This year's team features very little depth, few proven players, and loads of people using the word "potential."  This is an objective look at the team, but as a Seton Hall supporter and graduate, I hope they exceed the expectations in this preview.  The men's basketball team is the strongest form of advertising for the school and a successful basketball team means a favorable impression of the state of Seton Hall among alumni and the general public.

Schedule – C

The schedule features the usual cupcakes (St. Francis, Yale, NJIT, Longwood) and an unimpressive group of “big name” programs.  St. Peter’s can’t be lumped into the cupcake group because they made the NCAA Tournament last season and has a chance against the Pirates, who struggled against a St. Francis program that has never been to the NCAA Tournament.  VCU, Auburn, and Wake Forest are down this year, as are potential opponents Georgia Tech, St. Joe’s, and LSU.  Northwestern is another potential opponent and the favorite to win the Charleston Classic, yet they have never been to the NCAA Tournament.  Dayton is the strongest non-conference opponent and should destroy the Pirates.  My prediction for the non-conference schedule is 8-4, with losses to VCU, either Georgia Tech or St. Joe’s (second round on Charleston Classic), Auburn, and Dayton.

The Pirates' Big East schedule is arguably the easiest in the conference since they play DePaul and Rutgers two times each.  My prediction for the Big East schedule is 5-13 with wins at home against DePaul and St. John’s, and on the road against DePaul, Rutgers, and Providence.

My prediction for the wins and losses this season did not change after the debacle against St. Francis.

Coaching – D

The strategy for this team is live by the three and die by the three.  So far during his tenure, Coach Willard has shown very little creativity with the offense.  If the three pointers are falling, then the team starts passing the ball and cutting to the hoop.  If the three pointers are not falling, then the team just shoots more of them with little movement on offense.  The game last season at home against Rutgers was an incredibly frustrating game.  It was clear the Pirates were not getting it done on the outside, but no adjustments were made.  Guys just kept chucking up bad shots and on each possession, four players had their feet cemented behind the three-point line.  That strategy will not work unless you have players who can make three pointers.  There was one player who was a threat last season, but he was out with a broken wrist or playing with a cast on his wrist for all but one game of the season.  If the game against St. Francis is any indication, there are no legitimate threats from outside at this point in the season.  The lack of adjustments nearly cost the Pirates a win against a very bad team and will cost them multiple games this season.

Another area that has contributed to this low score is recruiting.  Followers of the program were told that things would change with Willard replacing Bobby Gonzalez.  So far, nothing has changed.  Gonzalez was criticized for bringing in transfers.  So far, Willard has signed two transfers in just over a year as head coach.  Gonzalez was criticized for bringing in academic risks and ineligible freshmen.  The Class of 2011 includes Kevin Johnson, an ineligible freshman forward.  The Class of 2012 was going to include Ray Austin, a junior college player who played for one JC, disappeared off the face of the earth for three years, is now playing for another JC, and then was going to somehow magically have three years of Div. 1 eligibility remaining for Seton Hall.  According to recent speculation, Austin will not be eligible to commit to Seton Hall.  So far, no 2012 commitments have been signed or given verbal agreements to attend Seton Hall.  That is concerning.  One of the reasons Louis Orr was fired was because he was perceived as an ineffective recruiter.  In retrospect, the two coaches who have followed Orr have not come close to Orr’s level of recruiting.  Kelly Whitney, Brian Laing, Jamar Nutter, Donald Copeland, Paul Gause and Grant Billmeier were excellent players for Seton Hall.  For all the shots taken at Billmeier (yours truly included), only Herb Pope has been a better front court player for the Pirates since Orr was fired.

Obviously, I am not ready to give up on Willard after one season and a couple recruiting classes.  That would be insane.  There are more negatives than positives with his on-court strategies and his recruiting so far and that cannot be ignored.  The positives do include an offense with the potential to be extremely potent with the right personnel.  I would compare its potential to John Beilein’s offense at West Virginia during the Pittsnogle/Gansey years.  On the recruiting front, Seton Hall was Kyle Anderson’s runner-up.  Not since the Class of 2000 has Seton Hall been in the race for such a highly ranked high school prospect.  Gonzalez always said he and his assistants could get the prized recruits, but he never backed up his words with any results.  Willard is a doer and not a talker, which is what you need to be to be successful at a program like Seton Hall.

Hopefully for the sake of the program, this grade rises as Willard’s tenure progresses.  This is a fair grade for the actual results on and off the court so far during the Willard era.

Guards – C+

Jordan Theodore is the senior leader of this team and it is a mystery as to which Jordan we will see.  Will we see the dynamic sophomore who ran a fluid offense or will we see the shoot-first, pass-later junior that struggled with shooting percentage and turnovers last season?  The version we saw as a junior fits Willard’s strategy, but it does not play to Jordan’s strengths.  Jordan struggled mightily shooting the ball from the outside against St. Francis, but when he was allowed to penetrate, take controlled shots, and draw fouls, he took the team on his shoulders and forced overtime.  This is the Jordan the team needs to be successful.  The team needs to play to his strengths since he will be handling the ball more than anybody on the team.  If Willard and his staff force Jordan into being just an outside player and jump shooter, the struggles he had last season will continue this season.

The rest of the guards are all unknown.  Aaron Cosby and Harolds Karlis have a lot of hype surrounding them as freshmen and Karlis seems to be living up to the hype so far based on his preseason games and performance against St. Francis.  Freddie Wilson and Sean Grennan are unknowns who were not highly recruited.  If nothing else, they will get opportunities to show what they can do immediately because of the lack of depth at the guard positions.

Forwards and Centers – B

This group gets a B because of the proven talents of Fuquan Edwin and Herb Pope.  Edwin is an excellent slasher who has a lot of potential on top of everything he proved last season.  Pope will be a rebounding machine this season because he will be the only one in position to rebound on offense (everybody else will have their feet cemented outside the three-point line) and will be tough to box out on the defensive glass.  Pope has the potential to lead the Big East in rebounding and be one of the nation’s leaders in that category as well.  If Pope shows consistency on offense, he will be a double-double threat every night, regardless of the opponent.

Similar to the guards, there is a lack of depth and proven talent among the forwards and centers.  Pat Auda has been hyped by the coaches and message board “experts,” but that’s a hype I’ll believe when I see it.  Aaron Geramipoor is somewhere between Grant Billmeier and Alex Gambino at this point.  If the depth on this team wasn’t so shallow, he likely would not get much, if any, playing time.  Working to expand Geramipoor’s skill set is vital this season and in the spring and summer of 2012 because there will be a gaping hole when Pope is gone.  If Geramipoor does not improve, he will slide behind Gene Teague (power forward transfer from Southern Illinois) and potentially Kevin Johnson (if he becomes eligible).  Brandon Mobley is the only other eligible forward on the team and he is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury.  Once again, he is an unknown, but did have some solid stats in high school.

Overall – C

This is a team with little depth, but a few very talented players.  How the unknown and unproven players play this season will tell a lot about the future of the Kevin Willard era.  It was tough to feel confident about this team before the St. Francis game and the confidence only dipped after that game.  The good thing about this team is that with all of the unknown and unproven players, the distinct possibilities exists that they will progress together and improve beyond anybody’s expectations.

I am sticking with my tempered prediction of the team finishing slightly below .500 at 13-17 and 13^th place in the stacked Big East.  If I am proven wrong, I will be happy.

College Football: Week 2 in Review

This week's entry is going to be much shorter because most of my Saturday was consumed by the Toledo/Ohio State game and I didn't get to watch the volume of games I did in Week 1.  The entries will be much shorter and there won't be any from the Toledo/Ohio State game.

Most impressive performance: Iowa State over Iowa
Neither team had high expectations coming into the season, but Iowa has dominated this rivalry over the past eight years.  The game was close throughout and Iowa State made some excellent plays in the overtime sessions to outlast the Hawkeyes, despite committing 11 penalties and three turnovers.  It was impressive to watch them continue to somehow find a way and overcoming the mistakes.  The overtimes sessions were fun to watch.

Least impressive performance: Oregon State so far this year
Wisconsin is very tough this year and with Russell Wilson, they are a threat to run the table in the Big Ten.  That said, Oregon State could not find the end zone, even after Wisconsin called off the dogs.  Last week, Oregon State lost to a 1-AA team that was barely .500 last season.  The Beavers knew the Rodgers brothers couldn't stay forever and so far it looks like they have done little to build for the post-Rodgers era.  It's going to be a long season for the Beavers.

Most impressive individual performance: Denard Robinson's fourth quarter
Robinson's first three quarters were forgettable to say the least, but wow, that fourth quarter was pure insanity.  I have watched a lot of college football in my life, but I have never seen anything like that fourth quarter.  Robinson didn't come close to the 500+ total yards he had last year against Notre Dame, but he took advantage of every advantage the Irish gave him on Saturday in the fourth quarter.  It was fun to watch.

Least impressive individual performance (tie): Rob Bolden and Matt McGloin, Penn State
It's Penn State and the best they can get at QB is this steaming pile?  Seriously?  I guess when your "head coach" sits in the press box without wearing a head set, the rest of the team will follow that lead.  If the leader of your program isn't paying attention or caring, then why should the on-field leaders?  These two were awful against a bad 1-AA team in Week 1 and were even worse against one of the best teams in the nation.  If Penn State continues to get nothing out the signal callers in Week 3, Temple will crush them.

No loser award for this week.  Temple "only" beat Akron by 38 points, Akron shockingly scored three points, and Rob Ianello didn't scold Steve Addazio, so I guess he didn't think the Owls were running it up.  Maybe 40 points is his running it up cut-off point.

Anyway, this week I'll be going to my first college game of the year.  I'll be at the Glass Bowl behind the Boise State bench cheering on the Rockets.  No other football trips are scheduled for me at this time, but I'm seriously considering the Toledo/Temple game in Philadelphia on Oct. 1st.  We'll see how it works out.  Enjoy this week in college football and I'll be posting a Week 3 review when I return to Charlotte next Sunday.

A close loss is still a loss

Lots of programs would be pleased with staying within a touchdown of a top-flight program that brings in superior talent year after year.  The program at Toledo cannot be pleased with the outcome of Saturday's game. Mistakes killed the Rockets in a game where the execution was excellent and superior to the Buckeyes.

Let's start with the bad parts of the game.  Toledo committed 14 penalties.  Most were legit calls and the number of unforced penalties was aggravating.  The fact that Toledo committed multiple illegal formation penalties on punts is inexcusable.  How hard is it to line up correctly for a punt?  Just stand where you are supposed to stand.  It's too simple.  When one of those illegal formations led to a re-kick and an Ohio State touchdown on that re-kick in a game decided by five points, everybody naturally wonders what could have been.

Speaking of punting, the punting strategy was awful.  Not only could Toledo not actually line up for a punt, the punting style resulted in easy returns or short kicks out of bounds.  There is a reason why the rugby style punt has never caught on in football, IT DOESN'T WORK!  Toledo struggled mightily in special teams last year and it was no different yesterday (illegal formation penalties, missed field goal, dropped snap by the holder, terrible rugby kicks, allowing a return touchdown, nearly missing extra points).  Ultimately, special teams errors cost Toledo this game.

It wasn't all bad for the Rockets yesterday.  Eric Page had a usual phenomenal day with 12 catches, 145 yards, two touchdowns, and a two-point conversion pass.  Adonis Thomas did a great job moving vertically on rushes and receptions for 158 total yards and a touchdown.  Outside of Terrance Owens' interception, the Owens - Austin Dantin duo played smart football.  The blocking on the screen passes was very crisp for the Rockets.  The Ohio State defense could not stop the screen plays.  If the Buckeyes can't stop this lowly Mid American Conference team.

On defense, the Rockets' defensive line looks the best it has looked in years.  The last time I can remember a line this strong, Chester Taylor was playing.  After the opening drive, even the secondary looked strong for most of the game.  The absence of Dan Molls was felt big time.  He is an excellent tackler who moves well laterally and he will be needed for the Boise State and Syracuse games.

The reaction to this game has been funny.  The Official Ohio State Newsletter made it sound like the persecuted Buckeyes were underdogs against Toledo.  The Plain Dealer ripped Ohio State's offense (a cardinal sin in Ohio) and didn't use the persecution by the NCAA as an excuse.  We can expect their press credentials to be revoked at the next home game.

There were a lot of positives in this game and I'm looking forward to my trip back to Toledo for Friday's game against Boise State, but this is not a moral victory.  This is a loss in a game that Toledo played well enough to win.  It's disappointing.

Top 5 Meaningless Holidays

Photo courtesy Associated Press.
People march to celebrate people who go to work. Yippee!

In honor of Labor Day, a meaningless holiday, here are the worst of the worst.  In order to make this list, the holiday must be a federal holiday and cannot be a religious holiday.  The federal holiday mandate eliminates arguably the most meaningless holidays like Flag Day, Valentine's Day, Patriots' Day, Sweetest Day, Secretary's Day, and The Day After Thanksgiving (which my company treats like a real holiday).

With those simple rules set, here we go:

5. Labor Day
It's a holiday created by labor unions to honor the "social and economic achievements of the American workers." What?  Every day an American worker is employed without being fired honors their achievements in society and the world economy.  Every time an American worker is paid, they are being rewarded for their achievements.  Labor Day perpetuates the fallacy that having a job is a right and not a privilege.  Our nation's current economic condition only magnifies that.  Hey, at least it's a day off in a warm weather month.

4. Washington's Birthday/President's Day
Seriously, who cares?  Yes, Washington was an American general and the first president, but what we know about him is more fiction than fact.  This day (not even celebrated on his actual birthday) also lumps in honoring all of our distinguished presidents.  Why should we be forced to honor terrible and corrupt crooks, like Warren Harding and Richard Nixon (worst of those who got caught)?  Also, it's in the middle of February when the only fun thing to do is ski and it just gives ski lodges an excuse to jack up rates.

3. New Year's Day
File this under things I just don't get.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good New Year's Eve as much as anybody (or a good night's sleep, depending on my particular mood on that holiday), but why do we go apeshit over the beginning of a new year?  January 1st is no different than December 31st.  The only differences are the numbers contained in the year portion of the date and the fact that you are one day closer to your death.  Why would I want to celebrate either of those things?  Why must I be forced to celebrate those two things???  Also, the price gouging in every restaurant/club/hotel/airplane around New Year's Day is the worst of the year and it comes in the dead of winter.  Thanks a lot jackasses.

2. Christmas Day
No, I am not violating my own rule on no religious holidays, but I'm listing it here because there are no religious aspects of Christmas any longer.  Christmas is all about radio stations playing special music starting the second week of November and people trying to out-do each other with gifts.  It's disgusting and is treated the same by many people and companies (mine included) as The Day After Thanksgiving.  Christmas does not celebrate the birth of Jesus, it signifies the day Frosty the Snowman gave an outcast reindeer some crack, which turned his nose red and led Santa Claus through the fog so he could deliver toys to all non-homeless children.  That's what all the songs and commercials tell me.  Also, the ugly sweater parties are stupid as hell and if you ever see me at one, you'll find a suicide note in my pocket.

1. Columbus Day
Christopher Columbus is the least significant historical figure in the history of the United States.  Do you know how significant he was to the exploration of the United States?  He never even set foot into what is now the United States.  So why do we honor him?  For pure political reasons.  Benjamin Harrison simply wanted votes from the ever increasing immigrant Italian and Catholic population.  Harrison's desperate move for votes did so well that he lost to the guy voters had just voted out of office a couple years before.  Now, we have to spend multiple days in grade school learning about an explorer whose best "exports" were disease and slavery, instead of learning about Native Americans or explorers who actually shaped the United States and our nation's history.  Why not have a Ponce de Leon Day or a Lewis & Clark Day?  Since it's such an important matter in the Columbus Day proclamations, the powers that be can keep the Catholic vote by honoring more worthy explorers Jolliet and Marquette.  It just doesn't make any sense to be forced to honor Columbus.  Even though he brought us some great movies (and some bad ones), he doesn't deserve his own holiday.

College Football: Week 1 in Review

Most impressive performance: Boise State over Georgia
This game was a big question mark for the Broncos.  This offseason, they dealt with NCAA sanctions, the termination of their athletic director, and the suspension of multiple players.  Georgia was under .500 last year, but with consistent recruiting, they have built a strong talent base.  Georgia has a lot of young talent, but Boise flexed its muscles in an impressive victory.

Least impressive performance: Auburn surviving the mighty Utah State
The Tigers lost the best player in college football last year, the best defensive lineman in college football last year, and a couple trees during the offseason.  Even with those losses, this team is full of experienced talent.  Utah State has a habit of playing up against BCS competition (have been within a touchdown of Texas A&M, Oklahoma, and Auburn in the last three years), yet they cannot hold their own in the mighty WAC (averaged 2.25 wins in conference over the last eight years).  Auburn is stacked with blue chippers and they got shredded by a two-star true freshman quarterback.  This season could be a long one for the Tigers and could prove the Gene Chizik doubters right.  Was 2010 Chizik's working, or did he just get what he "supposedly" paid for and let Newton work his magic?  Chizik better get on the horn with the bag man or else the Tigers will make Harvey Updyke a very happy man in 2011.

Most impressive individual performance: Robert Griffin III, Baylor
The junior quarterback shredded the TCU defense on Friday for 359 yards, five touchdowns, and no interceptions.  The most impressive stat is that he had as many touchdowns as incompletions against a defense that only gave up 12 points per game last year and surrendered only 10 total passing touchdowns in 2010.  Griffin III got half of that total in one game.  TCU was set to slide a little this year, but Griffin III looked phenomenal.  In a down year for the Big 12 (outside of Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Texas A&M, the conference looks rough), this could be a big year for the Bears and Griffin III.  Also, I love the use of the suffix.  If/when he makes the NFL, I hope he keeps the suffix on his uniform.

Least impressive individual performance: Andrew Luck, Stanford
Yes, he is a very talented quarterback.  Yes, he didn't have to do much playing against lowly San Jose State.  Yes, Stanford is most likely holding back so their stiffer competition doesn't see all their cards on the table right away.  All that said, the performance by the supposed best player in the land was underwhelming to say the least.  As long as he does not get injured, he will surely do better as the season progresses and the Cardinal open up the playbook.

Biggest loser: Rob Ianello, Head Coach Akron
After his team got destroyed by Ohio State 42-0, Ianello scolded Luke Fickell for not having good sportsmanship.  As somebody who watched about 80% of this game, let me tell you, Ohio State should have won it at least 63-0.  Akron is terrible and Ianello did nothing for that team.  Their schemes were awful.  Outside of his running back, the personnel he had out there was terrible, and they looked like a Div. II team (not even 1-AA).  Who is he to scold Fickell?  Ianello took over a struggling Akron program and has made them the worst Div. 1-A program in the NCAA.  Last year, the Zips went 1-11 and lost to Gardner-Webb, a program new to 1-AA who still plays Div. II teams in football.  Hey Coach Ianello, have your team player next time if you don't want to be embarrassed and be happy you didn't lose by 63 or more points.  To quote a wise man, "You are one pathetic loser."

Agree?  Disagree?  Let me know what you think.  Go Rockets!

Reply To All: Making people dumber since 1971

About a month ago, an e-mail was sent out to my entire division by mistake.  It should have gone out to people working on a certain project or something (I honestly don't know because I never bothered to read or look into the original message because I knew it didn't pertain to me), but instead it was accidentally sent to the Outlook directory for the whole division.  Ok, a mistake, no big deal.  Then, people got stupid.

A couple people decided that they wanted to tell THE ENTIRE DIVISION that they did not think the e-mail should have been sent to them.  Then it spread.  And spread.  And spread some more.  In a matter of about a half hour, my esteemed colleagues were clicking on Reply To All and telling the whole world they should not have received this e-mail (join the club idiots, nobody cares about what you think).  Some of my even more esteemed colleagues then scolded those replying to all by doing, you guessed it, REPLYING TO ALL!!!!  It was a classic case of do as I say, not as I do.  As we've learned over time, that is a terrible way to go through life.

Since I get bored with my work from time to time and was immensely entertained by this, I decided to create a couple rules in Outlook to see how many decided to use Reply To All on this particular morning.  The final count was 72 e-mails, about 90% of which came in a 20-minute span.  It was a near 50/50 split between those replying to all saying they should not have received the message and those replying to all scolding the others who were replying to all.

So kids, don't be stupid, don't reply to all.  People will either make fun of you (me), want to cause you physical harm (there were some veiled threats in the scolding e-mails), or simply lose respect for you (me, as well as most of my co-workers in my office).

Interestingly enough, nobody in my office took part in the Reply To All madness.  Honestly, I think it is because we still enjoy hanging on to our small, independent company mentality we all learned while working for HR XCEL before getting acquired.  You had a face at HR XCEL and couldn't just blend in as one of 45,000 names.  If you did something stupid like hit Reply To All and sent a stupid response like, "I shouldn't be on this e-mail..." you looked stupid because chances are you were supposed to be on the e-mail and everybody knew everybody in a small place so you can't be a faceless name behind a terrible e-mail message.

The 10 Hottest U.S. women's soccer players

Before the country forgets about women's soccer (my prediction was Wednesday, ESPN did the talk show tour of the women's team today, so Wednesday looks like it will hold true), I have compiled my top ten list of this team in the most superficial way possible (all photos from http://www.ussoccer.com):

10. Heather Mitts

Mitts is beautiful.
Used to be much hotter.

9. Amy Rodriguez

Very cute.

8. Heather O'Reilly

Not the best picture of her.

7. Lauren Cheney

Midwestern girl, love the wavy hair.

6. Tobin Heath

On Jersey Girl to make the list.
Busts the stereotypes (good thing).

5. Lori Lindsey

Cutest blonde on the team.

4. Kelley O'Hara

Love my Irish girls.

3. Hope Solo

Biggest name and great looking.
There are just two that are hotter.

2. Alex Morgan

Natural and fantastic looking.

1. Ali Krieger

Cute face, brunette, good body, no
tribal arm tattoo, what's the flaw?

Opinions?  Agree or disagree?  This team is much easier on the eyes than the past teams.  From 1999 through 2007, the only members of the World Cup teams that would make it on this list are Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, and Julie Foudy.

Why the U.S. lost the World Cup

This post is going to be short and sweet.  The U.S. was the better team and played better for the majority of the game, but could not close the game out.  If this was a men's sport, the overwhelming word would be "choke," but that term is being considered offensive by whoever has the gall to use that word in an opinion piece regarding Sunday's game.

The U.S. absolutely dominated the first half, but the Japanese defense and outstanding goalkeeper kept it a scoreless game.  The U.S. finally broke through and an improbable play (compared to the rest of the scoring chances during the game).  Everything was in cruise control for the U.S.; they had the lead, Japan had yet to go on an offensive attack, and the forwards and midfielders for the U.S. were keeping the ball in the offensive zone and dominating the "neutral" area.  Then Japan went on the attack and the shoddy U.S. defense was exposed.

As Hope Solo has said since Sunday on various ESPN shows, by the final match, the U.S. had the best offense going and were playing to that strength.  Sweden, Brazil, and Japan exposed the U.S. defense.  In particular, Amy LePeilbet struggled mightily for the defense.  In the Japan game, her blown assignments led to both of the goals and gave the Japanese many other opportunities.  For as few opportunities Japan had because of the dominance of the U.S. midfielders and forwards, the defense should have been ready.  Clearly, they were not.

It was a disappointing loss for fans of the U.S. team.  The U.S. was the best team in the tournament and never should have lost twice and almost lost another time.  We'll see what happens in two years at the London Olympics and in four years at the next World Cup.  Until then, return to not caring about women's soccer.

Song of the Day (Bulldogs vs. Huskies style)

The most exciting basketball game outside of Houston today...

Photo from the Toledo Blade

...will be in Toledo!  The Lady Rockets have made an incredible run to the finals of the WNIT.  The WNIT doesn't mean much to a lot of people, but Rocket fans have gotten behind this team big time.  In the quarterfinals, there were over 5,000 fans in attendance.  In the semifinals, it was a sellout and this afternoon, it is a sellout once again.

It's incredible, they have had nearly 20,000 in attendance over the final three games of the season.  There are many women's basketball teams that have trouble getting 20,000 fans to a game in an entire season.

Let's go Rockets, beat USC!

Song of the Day

In honor of the Final Four tonight...

Songs of the day

Last night, I won the face-off finals at music trivia at Buona Vita. Since I scored well in the regular rounds, I got a bye to the semifinals, which meant that I only needed to name four bands before my competition to win a $25 gift certificate.  Here are the four songs I got right:

Eiffel 65 - "Blue"

50 Cent - "Candy Shop"

Snoop Dogg - "Drop It Like It's Hot"

Fastball - "The Way"

I have an unusual brain.

Syracuse at Seton Hall preview

That's about how things will be going tomorrow at the Prudential Center.  It's the first week of January and the team has already given up.  Coach Willard is treading water with guys who have shown flashes of being decent basketball players, but are full of themselves because Bobby Gonzalez and his bottom of the barrel assistants raved about them.  Who cares if they haven't actually done anything while in college, let's just fill them with hype.

The game won't be a matter of who wins, it will be how close can Seton Hall keep the game.  I honestly don't care about any game this season except for the two Rutgers games (going to the home game and the road game is on my birthday) and the Big East Tournament.

Hopefully this season is like 2002 when Louis Orr had to deal with Darius Lane, Ty Shine, Desmond Herod, and Marcus Toney-El loafing their way through the season.  At least Toney-El warmed up to Orr eventually, but the others were simply a detriment to the team.  The team bounced back with a new core the next year, had a nine-game winning streak, and made the NIT.

No matter what, I will still be rooting for them and hopefully they will pull off the impossible tomorrow.  GO PIRATES!!

Song of the Day

Gerry Rafferty (RIP) - "Baker Street"